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[禁忌之恋] 【柔情主义——妈妈】（淫荡妈妈之子代父职）作者：不详

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2009-2-27 22:43  显示全部帖子
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有一定的真实感,但母子之间的感情变化没有明显的过渡,显得很突兀,另外心理描写还是太少,情节还不够充实,最好能铺开写,能够做到情与色并重,情节生动,才不失为一篇精彩的乱文.当然经过逐渐地改进也可以达到这样的水平的.
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  • Xdents 金币 +5 不错不错 2009-2-28 10:34

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