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[绿意盎然] 【我中了老公的計謀】

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2012-1-24 23:15  显示全部帖子
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感觉这篇文章写得有些仓促，剧情虽然可以，但是发展的有些太快了。开篇就说老公坏笑着来个朋友留宿。没有任何的铺垫，给人很突兀的感觉，过程描写倒是非常详细。如果可以把老婆这第一视角的心里感受多写一写就非常不错了，感谢分享

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